Saturday, November 08, 2008

samurai, yogi, pacifist, and husband

a buddy and i are tossing around some ideas about being good guys in this world we live in. asking each other some questions and offering each other the conversation that results.
this week's question was simple and cliche (and gender exclusive so, to my female audience, please make adjustments where necessary -- my thoughts aren't exclusive, just my language in this entry):

what does a man of strong character look like?

my response:

the samurai's code of honor (bushido) contains a commitment to yu, or courage. this was a style of heroics that is more than fearlessness. it is courage that is tempered with wisdom. not a brash rushing into danger, but a wise willingness to face danger when necessary; not as a means of demonstrating his quality but as a natural extension of the good that has been cultivated in his heart. he does not desire death but neither is he deterred by anything from performing an act that he knows to be right.

"namaste" is a salutation given and received in india and nepal and elsewhere. it is a sanskrit word that, taken literally, means "i bow to you". but as a gesture it's meaning has grown and when a person greets another saying "namaste" they are in effect saying with humility and gratitude, "that which is divine in me reaches out to that which is divine in you". think: jesus when he told the story about the sheep and goats and "whatever you did for the least of these you did for me". namaste -- i see you, hear you, feel you as someone to be cherished, and i offer you my attention, my presence, my love.

in order to be wise in courage and to be attentive to others a man has to have a supply of patience. and that patience must come from a calm place in his heart, a place that is at peace. in the midst of tumultuous surroundings he must have the resolve to believe in the possibility of peace.

the band on my finger symbolizes a promise of loyalty. keeping that promise does not mean perfection, does not mean the absence of conflict, does not mean the absence of questions such as, "am i really the man i claim to be?" or "do i have what it takes?" being loyal means that when you look at the golden/silver/platinum band hugging your finger you remember and believe the answer to those questions, that yes you are and yes you do.

ideally a man of strong character is brave, compassionate, patient, and faithful.
that's why a man with strong character is also relational. because ideals aren't sufficient; and when ideals fail a man needs support or forgiveness or encouragement to be and believe in who he is. those things can be offered only from without, though they can come from the most unlikely places (so he is wise to keep his heart open and his wits about him).

a strong man is steady and available and vulnerable and honest and befriended.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

by the way...

http://www.dannyiskandarphotography.com/slide/laurenaramwed/index.html

enough said.